


Love's Somber Embrace

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-24
Updated: 2008-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian's point of view when he learns of an unexpected tragedy.





	Love's Somber Embrace

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

He told me he loved me before he turned to leave, and I called him a lesbianic twat. Thinking of my blond haired partner, I arrived at the office in a good mood, only to be greeted with stares and whispering. _'What the fuck was going on_?' Cynthia was wiping away tears, and I sensed something was drastically wrong. Ted quickly approached me with a worried look on his face.   
  
"What's going on here Theodore. Did everyone suddenly realize that I won't be on the market anymore when young Justin and I tie the knot?" 

Ted took a deep breath and began "Bri, you may want to sit down." 

"What is it Theodore?" I asked starting to become anxious. 

"Justin's plane crashed shortly after take off. They don't think there are any survivors."   
  
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. " _They don't think there are any survivors._ " I stared at Ted, who had tears forming in his eyes, when he offered, "Do you want me to drive you to the airport?" 

I still couldn't process what he was saying. I just left Justin not more than an hour ago. "Are you _sure_ it was his plane?" I knew I was grasping at straws. 

Ted explained, "The airport personnel called here looking for you because you were listed on Justin's insurance form."  
  
Ted and I promptly left in his car. My heart was racing, and I was glad for the company. Ted had become a valued friend, someone I could rely on. When we entered the airport, it was a flurry of activity. Crowds had gathered, and a spokesperson from the airline was making an announcement. "Please ladies and gentlemen. We need your cooperation. As soon as we know anything more about the details of what happened, we will notify you. For now, we have set up a waiting room in the hotel across the street."   
  
Determined to get some answers, I walked over to the employee and tried to use my Kinney charm. "I wanted to commend you for the great job you're doing. I'm sure it hasn't been easy." The guy seemed to appreciate my words and huffed, "You have no idea." That was my opening. "They must have _some_ information by now on the number of casualties", I queried. The older gentleman replied, "Buddy, the only thing I know is that it's bad...real bad". I got an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.  
  
Ted and I crossed the street and found our way to the waiting area. _Shit!_ "Jennifer", I said. Ted looked at me assuredly and said, "She's already been contacted". A few minutes later, a tearful Jennifer stormed through the door, with Debbie and Michael close behind. She spotted me, and rushed over to hug me tightly. "Do you know anything yet?", Michael asked. I shook my head no, not able to speak at the moment.  
  
I paced the room, because I felt useless, since all I could do was wait. Michael, being my oldest and dearest friend, and also a close friend of Justin's, stayed by my side. The airport representative finally entered the room and spoke. He related that there were only four survivors who were all in critical condition. He told us that he had two lists. One with the names of the survivors, and the other with the names of the deceased. Jennifer Taylor latched on to me, as her tears started to fall. I looked at her, and trying to assuage her fears and mine said, "Justin is one of the survivors. He's strong, and he's already been through so much. He has to be okay."   
  
I was so sure that Justin survived this nightmare, that I went over to the survivor's list first. Meanwhile, people all around us were breaking down into sobbing messes. I checked the list twice...no Justin Taylor. I quickly pushed my way through to the list of the deceased. I skimmed the list, and settled upon his name, " _Justin Taylor_." It was the fourth name on the list. When Jennifer saw his name, she fainted in my arms, and Debbie became hysterical. Michael tended to the ladies, while Ted rubbed my shoulder. "I'm really sorry Bri. I don't presume to know how you feel at a time like this, but I'm here for you." I couldn't move, all I thought about was that this wasn't really happening.   
  
After I saw his name on that list, I still refused to believe he was dead. It was not until I went to the morgue, and saw his lifeless body with my own eyes, that I finally accepted it as the truth. The next few days were a blur, as I helped Jennifer plan his wake and burial.  
  
It was the morning of the funeral. I could still picture his smile, as he glanced back one more time before he passed through the boarding gate at the airport. It was one of those Sunshine smiles, that lit up his whole face, and made me feel incredibly happy. Now I was looking down on his casket with a single red rose in my hand. "Why was this happening? We were supposed to be getting married in two months, and spend the rest of our lives together."  
  
Everyone went back to Jennifer's house after the ceremony. I endured the endless condolences in polite silence. I felt like I needed to get away for a while, and stepped outside for a quick smoke. Michael must have been watching me, because a couple of seconds later, he came up behind me, and put his arms around me.   
  
"You okay Brian?" 

I just continued to gaze up into the sky. I wondered if he was looking down on us. "You think he knows how much he was loved?" I asked my best friend. 

Michael rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "Justin knew he was lucky. He appreciated every day he was given. He told me that he had everything he ever wanted, now that you had finally admitted you loved him. Justin was ecstatic that the two of you were going to celebrate your love for each other in front of your family and friends." The sincerity of his words offered me some small measure of comfort.  
  
I sat alone in the empty loft, having eventually convinced all his friends and family to go home. Michael and Ted had reluctantly been the last ones to leave, reminding me that they were going to check up on me. In the days that followed, I went through all the motions of returning to my life. However, deep down inside, I was devastated with a huge void in my heart. Nothing would ever be the same. I missed his beautiful face, and I missed his toned lithe body. I missed him...every minute of every day.   
  
Although it appeared to everyone that I was moving on, I became adept at concealing my grief. Justin had been my reason for living. He was the one person who broke down my walls, and saw me for who I really was. And miracle of miracles, he didn't give up on me. As he had confided in me recently, he felt we were destined to be together. No matter what, we always found our way back to each other.   
  
My friends tried their best to keep me occupied, and took care to never mention his name in my presence. Night was the hardest time for me. Each evening I hugged his pillow, hoping to smell any remaining traces of his unique scent. He was my lover, my trusted friend, and my biggest defender, and I was totally lost without him.   
  
The pain was as physical as it was emotional. My entire body was longing for his touch, mourning his absence in my bed, and in my life. Laying in the dark, I could almost hear his voice calling me. Suddenly, it all became clear to me, and I knew what I had to do.  
  
I left two notes, one to my son, and one to my adopted family. I tried to explain to them how much pain I was in. How Justin was the only person in my life to see through all my bullshit, and expose the real me. I shared with them how we'd pledge our love to each other late at night, whispering words of adoration. How we would wake entangled in each other's arms. I confessed that he was the love of my life, and that I knew I would never feel that way again about anybody. I needed to be with him. He was waiting for me.  
  
As I passed into the light, I saw a silhouette of a lone figure. As I got closer, I recognized the familiar smile, blond locks of hair, and beautiful blue eyes. He reached out for me, and kissed me. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaimed, " _I knew you would come_." I touched his cheek and returned his smile. All that mattered to me was that he was no longer alone, and I knew I had found my way back to him, for the last time.


End file.
